TMI

This weekend blew.

We were supposed to drive up north to have our car fixed but the parts hadn't come in yet. So we got an unexpected relaxing weekend at home, right? RIGHT??

Not exactly. I THINK Chris worked for a bit on Saturday and I did stuff? It's hard to recall. I honestly don't remember - it must have been very exciting whatever it was. Saturday night we took Agatha to the Mall of America (apparently I am one of THOSE people now) and bought her some new clothes. Man, I wanted to buy everything. We were good though and only bought stuff that was on sale. SO CUTE!! On the way home we stopped at Arby's.

Next thing I know I am laying in bed at midnight, shivering, with my robe on. I fell asleep and woke up at 3 am. I spent the next SEVEN hours literally laying on the bathroom floor because was too weak to run to the bathroom every twenty minutes. It. Was. Horrible. I will not be eating at Arby's anytime in the future (not that I eat there with any frequency currently).

Finally, around 10 am, I felt okay enough to lay in my own bed again. I was sick all day Sunday as well, but with more of a fever and less of The Exorcist. Chris caught it around 3 in the afternoon. We both stayed home today. Baby seems fine, thank goodness.

How was YOUR weekend?

Eh?

I am home today. I was home yesterday as well. We have been having what I hope is a temporary hiccup in Agatha's sleep schedule. Last night she did not go to sleep until 3 am! I am supposed to get up for work at 5:30, obviously THAT did not happen. My boss was very understanding, also I don't have any work to do.

I am home but Agatha is at daycare. I feel kind of like a bad mom for bringing her to daycare still, but it is really nice to have a day (or two) to myself, although I am still obliged to pump throughout the day. But I can sit around and read and watch tv and take naps and it is kind of wonderful. But I miss her, too. SHE'S SOOOO CUTE!

Yesterday was my dad's birthday. I called him and then proceeded to have an argument about how old he is. For the record, he is 72 (born in 1939) but was insisting that he is 73. I had to walk through the math with him but I don't think he believed me. I hope I live long enough that I forget how old I am.

We are supposed to get our car fixed this weekend but apparently all the parts are not in. We were going to drive up to my hometown and have my brother-in-law fix it for us. Then we would get a chance to see the rest of my family as well. I guess if it doesn't happen this weekend, we will go up next weekend, so it will happen, but I was looking forward to seeing everyone THIS weekend.

AMK is in town and I need to shower and get dressed (and pump) before I meet her for lunch. Also, I don't have anything else to say.

Milestones!

We've been hitting lots of milestones lately...let's begin:

Today marked my fourth week back at work. So far it has been pretty easy. My dedicated job duties were taken away from me and I was instructed to just help my team mates as needed, so my work load has been pretty light. That, combined with pumping, has made the transition easy. I think some good changes will be happening at work soon, so I am also excited for that. The best part of my day is still picking Agatha up at day care after work and spending a nice hour or so just the two of us. My second favorite part of the day is lunch because nom nom nom I am so HUNGRY all the time!

November 5th marked one year since I quit smoking. I quit smoking the day I found out I was pregnant. I always said I would quit smoking when I turned 30 or got pregnant. It just so happened those things coincided. I turned 30 on October 5 and cut back on smoking and was only smoking one or two a day until we found out I was pregnant. I haven't had a single puff since that day and I am really happy about it and super proud of myself. When I first found out I was pregnant, I would have dreams that I was smoking and I would wake up feeling SO GUILTY. Luckily, they were just dreams. There are days I think I still want a cigarette, but the feeling goes away quickly, and I don't think I ever would have one. I really liked smoking when I drank, and since I hardly drink any more, the temptation is not there.

Agatha turned 100 days old on October 27. I think that is such a cool milestone. She is 16 weeks old today and is so fun to be around. She smiles and laughs and sits up with support. She likes to blow raspberries and thinks it is funny if you tell her she has a stinky butt. She's discovering new things all the time, and is developing right on track, even if I worry about how little she is. The last 112 days have definitely been the best days of my life and I am so so so so so happy to have her in my life.

And our last little fun milestone just happened today. Agatha rolled over for the first time at daycare. I knew it was going to happen soon because she had really been trying the last few days. When we got home I got out the camera to see if she would do it again. I laid her down on her stomach and turned to pick up the camera, and when I turned back she had already rolled onto her back! What a little sneak.

Back to work, back to reality

After 12 weeks of bonding time, it was time to get back to the "real world." I may have been dragged back kicking and screaming but back I went. I have now completed one week of work. Actually, I completed 4 days of work, since the claims management company called me on Friday to inform me I still had one day of leave left and didn't have to return to work until Tuesday. Yay!

My mom came back to town to sit for us last week. I'm glad she was able to do that because I don't know how well I would have coped with having to go back to work and put her in day care the same week. I am taking this Monday off and Chris is taking Tuesday off to watch Agatha, and she will officially start day care on Wednesday, which is also her three month birthday! I can't believe she is three months old already. Ca-razy.

Anyway, going to back to work wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. The first two days weren't great, but it felt pretty normal by Thursday. A lot of time gets eaten up by the pumping process. The "Mother's Room" is in another building, so I have to walk over there, set up my machine, change into my make-shift pumping bra (psst...it's just a sports bra that I cut some slits into), pump, clean up, get dressed and walk back. The whole thing takes about half an hour. And I have to do that three times a day.

We also got our hospital bill the other day. Yikes. Luckily, my mom came in handy again and called the hospital which said based on our income we might qualify for a full or partial discount of the bill. That would definitely help. Did you know babies are expensive?

I managed to spend part of my birthday money. I bought a new bag for myself to lug my laptop, wallet, lunch, etc. to work. And I bought a duffle bag for Agatha and got it monogrammed. I know! I wasn't supposed to spend the money on stuff for her (per my rules) but I couldn't resist and it made me really happy. I'm very excited for it to arrive.

I also bought some crafting supplies. My mom got my a heat gun for my birthday to use for embossing and other crafty things, so I stocked up on fun stuff. I'm planning to try it out on some Halloween care packages for our nieces and nephew. I'll post pictures on the other blog.

More Stuff, Random Stuff

I just finished reading a book, The Opposite of Me, and I enjoyed it but there was something off about the book. The story took place in 2009 or 2010 and the protagonist was a 29 year old woman. And:

• She repeatedly mentions "cyber cafes"


• Her twin sister lamented choosing between Calvin Kleins and Jordache jeans in high school


• Mentioned wearing Gloria Vanderbilt jeans in seventh grade


• Complained about lack of Mars bars in vending machine

Cyber cafes don't really exist anymore. People just go to coffee shops with wifi. I understand that you might go to a "cyber cafe" if you don't have a computer, but the main character has a laptop and mentions that she is in a coffee shop. But she keeps calling it a cyber cafe. This seems really dated to me.

I am basically the same age as the main character. Calvin Klein and Jordache jeans were not the "it" jeans to be wearing at that time. I grew up in a small town but even there those jeans were popular ten years earlier then when the main characters would have been in high school.

Same goes fro Gloria Vanderbilt jeans. Weren't these popular in the late seventies and early eighties? Not early nineties, when the main character would have been in seventh grade.

Mars bars were discontinued in the US in 2002. I don't think I've ever even seen one. Wikipedia says they were relaunched exclusively to Wal-Mart in 2010, however. That doesn't explain why anyone would expect them to be in a hospital vending machine in 2009.

Basically, the book was pretty good but I kept getting distracted by all the weird inaccuracies. I was talking to Chris about it and he said it sounded like someone wrote it with a different time period in mind and then decided to set it in modern day and forgot to change the details.

Other stuff, other stuff. I have to go back to work on Monday. BOOOOOOOOOO! I really don't want to. I like my job and I am sure after a few days it will be fine, but I already feel the overwhelming mom guilt of leaving my child in someone else's care.

I am almost done with Agatha's Halloween costume and it is The. Cutest. Thing. Ever. I can't wait to show pictures. I have to stop myself from dressing her in it every day.

Chris' parents sent me some money for my birthday and I am going to spend it ALL on MYSELF. Not stuff for the house or the baby or put it in savings. ME. I'm going to buy pretty, dumb, frivolous stuff just because I want it.

Chris got me the Rifle Paper calendar I wanted and the Design*Sponge book. I am so happy and look forward to enjoying both.

Reading Frustrations

It takes a lot for me to not finish a book. It has to be a pretty bad book. That said, that was not the case this week.

I was reading I See You Everywhere by Julia Glass and was really enjoying it. ***SPOILER ALERT - I am going to ruin the book for you***

***
Then with like twenty pages left in the book, one of the main characters dies. That was upsetting, but not that big of a deal. The part I couldn't handle was that for the rest of the book, it seemed like anyway, all they did was talk about the death and what was she thinking before she died, and just examining all the horrible things about death. Now, I was reading this at midnight right before I was supposed to go to sleep. And I do not deal well with death. I don't like to think about it, because once I think about it, it is all I think about it. And when you think about it, it's not fair, is it? Who came up with this system?? Love your life, have a great time, oh by the way some day you're going to die. If I was guaranteed to live to 90, fine, I could handle that. But I can't handle the thought that I could walk out my door and get hit by a bus. Or just fall down dead while doing the dishes. That is not fair. NOT FAIR.

Oookay...so I couldn't finish the book, because it kept me up all night THINKING HORRIBLE THOUGHTS. Thanks a lot, book.

So, I need to find a new book. I have two more from the library, but after re-examining the book jackets, one contains "an unthinkable tragedy." No, thanks. This is why chick lit is so popular.

In other book-related news, I took Aggie to the library today and we picked up:

Parents in the Pigpen, Pigs in the Tub

Babar's World Tour

There's Something in My Attic

Madeline and the Gypsies

Good choices, Agatha!

Sleep!

I hope I am not getting ahead of myself, but the last three days have been so wonderful sleep-wise with Agatha.

Our routine before was just waiting for Agatha to fall asleep. During the day this meant she would normally fall asleep after nursing or while we were rocking or bouncing her. Then we would lay her down and she would inevitably wake up twenty minutes later. Or I would put her in her bouncer chair and she would continue to sleep, but I wanted to break that habit.

At night, she wouldn't fall asleep until sometimes two in the morning, and only after being walked, bounced, sat in front of the stove fan, sang to, etc. It was very frustrating. She would sleep for 3 to 5 hours at a time once she fell asleep, so that was fine, but the timing was not acceptable. Or the amount of time it took to get her to fall asleep.

I read a few books on sleep and they all said to put the baby down and let her fuss and cry. I could check on her every so often but she would have to learn to soothe herself and would have to "cry it out." I tried it one night for about five minutes. It just wasn't for me. First of all, Agatha is still very young and I want her to trust me. Chris and I are her whole world right now and she looks to us for all her needs. I thought there had to be a better way for all of us.

I heard about The No-Cry Sleep Solution and requested it from the library. I started reading it the first night I had it and immediately had a few major breakthroughs. That night around 12:00, I laid with Agatha on the bed for awhile and just spent some quiet time with her. When she started to get quieter and looked drowsy, I moved her to the Pack n Play and swaddled her with her arms in. (We had stopped doing this several weeks ago because she seemed to fight it.) Then, I stayed in the room with her and soothed her by putting my hands on her when she started fussing. I also gave her a pacifier to suck on. When she started to look like she was about to fall asleep, I took the pacifier away, to try to encourage her to learn to fall asleep without sucking. It took about ten minutes total and she slept for seven hours straight!

The next day I started doing the same thing for naps. And I did the same thing that next night. That night she slept from 10:45 to 3:45 and then from 4:00 to 8:30, nursing in between. Last night she slept from 10:30 to 2:20, then 2:30 to 5:30, then 5:50 to 9:30, nursing at wakings. Every nap I have done the same thing and it takes her about five minutes to fall asleep.

I know it has only been a few days, but I am amazed. Instead of waiting for her to fall asleep, I pay attention to when she looks like she is getting tired and get her ready to sleep. Maybe this is a big DUH! thing to other moms or more experienced moms, but it was like a light coming on for me. There are lots of other great tips and insights in the book that I am looking forward to utilizing as she gets older.

Hopefully, we will continue to have success.