Wednesday, August 29, 2012

The Pressure of Perfect Parenting

Hey, friends. Let's be honest. Parenting is hard. It isn't sunshine and giggle fests all the time. Especially bringing home a newborn. Especially being a mother and being home with said newborn 24 hours a day.

But I've noticed among my friends who are new parents (like I am old hat at this game) that more and more of them are putting on a "Everything is GREAT! I love it! SO MUCH FUN! So easy!" face that is leaving me depressed and a little self-conscious/squirmy about my own "parent of a newborn" experiences, and tales thereof.

I think that when Agatha was born, I was honest about my struggles. The first days and weeks at home were spent being exhausted, worried and panicked that I had changed my life forever and tied myself to this other human being. A human being that was making me sore and crabby with every feeding. It was hard. I didn't sleep. I cried a lot. I thought, "I never want to do this again." Nevertheless, I loved her. So much. And grew to love her even more every day, even when I didn’t think it was possible. (And for the record, I do want to do it again.)

However, my love for her did not mean that it wasn’t hard or that I wasn’t afraid of making the wrong choices or even that I didn’t find parenting a little boring and I just wanted TIME for MYSELF. You are up all night with them, bouncing them, feeding them, having poo squirt directly at your face if you are unlucky, watching them, worrying about them and desperately wishing for thirty minutes to take a shower and eat chocolate.

Am I alone in this? Or is everyone else just trying to put on a front that they are the perfect parents?
That their baby makes them perfectly content and they KNOW this is what they were MEANT for and it’s all been so easy and la di da. Dream come true.

And I am happy for them. If that is the case. But if it is NOT the case, don’t be afraid to say it. You are just going to make the next friend anxious and paranoid that her perfectly normal feelings are all wrong and SHE IS THE WORST. You don’t have to pretend with me. I’ve been there. I’ve had a baby spit up IN MY MOUTH, for Pete’s sake.

Let’s all just agree that we won’t try to out-Super Mom each other in the future, okay?

1 comment:

  1. GIRL, I could have written this post!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    I could tell you so many stories where I am just like, "OMG GET AWAY FROM ME" to either daughter, even though I love them both SO MUCH. And, the first weeks/months with both of them were a struggle and I also hate that you have to put on this face, like, "Wow, I love them so much!" and it is like, duh, of course you love your baby, but that doesn't mean that every day was perfect. I spent more days crying with Katja than I would like to even think about.