Conversations with Agatha

Toddlers can be pretty funny. At least I think mine is.

*Brings me a bottle of salad dressing*

Agatha: You open?

Me: What are you going to eat it with?

Agatha: Um…my mouth!

*We are singing Old McDonald*

Me: And on that farm he had a…

Agatha: Queen!

Me: Okay. What does a queen say?

Agatha: “How do you do?”

Me: Agatha, what should we name baby brother?

Agatha: Um…Farts!

Me: Really? Farts?

Agatha: Yeah. Barney Farts!

*After purposefully knocking all of her markers and crayons off her drawing table*

Agatha: Oh my goodness! Oh my goodness!

*Feeding her dinosaur some macaroni*

Agatha: He love it!

*We are pretending to sleep on our bed.*
Agatha: Wake up, little boy!

*While pulling my shirt down.*
Agatha: Happy birthday, dear boobies! Happy birthday to you! 

What's going on

Just some random things to record:

Baby numero dos is growing big and strong. The 20 week ultrasound showed his kidneys were slightly enlarged, so I had a follow up ultrasound at 28 weeks. At that time, his right kidney was showing up as normal but the left one was still enlarged. We will have another appointment at 32 weeks and see what it shows then. I am not too worried about it, the little bit of Internet research I did seemed to indicate this is pretty common and not serious.

That being said, there are only 11 weeks left before this little guy makes his arrival! We have almost everything we need, thanks to generous friends and leftovers from Agatha. I have a few things to purchase, and I will probably start doing that soon, but our house is so cluttered with toddler stuff that I don't want to bring more into it.

Which brings me to the idea we may need to send Agatha to my mom's for a weekend so Chris and I can purge a bunch of crap from our many, many storage rooms. I am so nervous about leaving her. Chris has been away from her for a few nights due to work trips but I have never been, and she has never had anyone besides Chris and I put her to bed. She loves my mom and step-dad so much, though, that think it would be harder for me than her.

Another fun thing that is happening is Agatha is going to start swimming lessons later this month. I am so excited for her and bought her a new little swimsuit and flip flops. I am not looking forward to being 8 months pregnant and in a swimsuit but that is the way it goes.

Once the new baby comes, we plan on enrolling Agatha in a music class so she has some one on one time with Chris and me. We will take turns taking her and try to get a babysitter once in a while so we can both go. That won't be until later in the summer, though.

That's about all that is new in my world right now.

The Pacifier

After I wrote about Agatha being weaned from breast-feeding (and using a pacifier in the morning to comfort her instead of nursing), she got incredibly attached the the pacifier. She started wanting it all the time, whether she was happy or sad, upset or bored. It got to the point that we put it on our nightstand before bed so we could give it to her right away in the morning. We only had three pacifiers in the house so if we weren't able to find one, it was torture.

Let me say, I don't think there is anything wrong with using pacifiers. Studies show that they lower the risk of SIDS when used in infants. They obviously can be of great comfort to kids and great sanity savers for parents. However, I didn't think it was a habit she needed to pick up at 18 months old, since she had never been strongly reliant on them in the past and because this is the age a lot of parents try to break the habit.

But it was hard not to give it to her. She started learning new words every day and one of those words was "pacifier" (pronounced "pwier" by Agatha). She wasn't using one at all in day care and we still didn't give it to her at nap time or bed time, but she asked for it a lot while awake. Once she had it for a few minutes and was content, Chris or I would sometimes slip it out of her mouth without her objecting and hide it for a few hours. It was just getting to be too much of a crutch for her.

Finally, a few weeks ago, I said we were going to stop. Chris and I talked to her about it and let her know that starting that Saturday (a week ago Saturday), she wasn't going to get the pacifier any longer. I'm not sure how much she understood but I figured we owed it to her to be up front.

On Saturday morning she asked for it upon waking. Chris was up with her that morning and she whined a little bit but was easily distracted by breakfast. She asked for it a few times throughout the day and cried a little when we told her, "We don't do that any more." But she soon forgot about it.

And it really hasn't been that bad. I think that Saturday was the worst day and since then she has asked for it a handful of times, mostly when upset about not being allowed something else she wants.  For the most part, she seems to have forgotten about it. She did see a picture of herself with the pacifier in her mouth and said "Pacifier" this morning, but it was like she was just pointing out an object she recognized.

So, one week and two days pacifier free. Next up: Potty training!

Random Thoughts

I recently rearranged my kitchen cupboards, and MAN, do I feel better! I feel much more organized, I'm using space wisely and I'm not constantly having to drag a chair into the kitchen to reach something I use all the time. It was way overdue.

We found out we are having a BABY BOY! I am so excited and have been having so much fun looking at boy clothes online. Um, clothing designers really decided stripes are the way to go for boys' clothes, huh? I am also working on designing/decorating what will be Agatha and this baby's shared room. They will move into the room that Chris and I currently use, and we will move into Agatha's nursery. Her nursery is quite tiny, but we will make it work.

I have been trying to cook extra on the weekends and freeze meals for the week. So far it has gone really well, and I love being able to pull something out of the freezer and have it ready in 15 minutes with no work for me. Something other than a frozen pizza, that is. I have been getting a lot of good ideas from Dinner: A Love Story and hope that my lovely husband gets me the book for our 10 year anniversary/Valentine's Day. So far most of the recipes I have tried have been a success, but a few were not (mostly to pregnancy food aversions).

Agatha is just a ball of fun right now. She is talking so much and learning new things every day. I think we have to start discussing potty training soon, since she is telling us when she has dirty diapers and is semi-interested in the little potty we bought for her.

She makes me so happy.

The pregnancy is going well. I feel good and haven't had many problems. A few weeks ago I could barely walk thanks to my right hip and tailbone being out of whack, but physical therapy helped that and now I feel mostly normal. I am 22 weeks right now, it feels like it is flying by.

20 weeks

And that's all, folks.

Calling it

I'm officially calling it. After 17 months of breastfeeding, Agatha is weaned. Whew! I have not nursed her for two full weeks as of today. Aw, that actually makes me a little sad.

My original breastfeeding plan was to make it six weeks and see if I wanted to continue. When I made it to six weeks, I set a new goal of 12 weeks. Then six months. Then a year. Then I thought I would let her wean herself or wean her at two years.

However, I am now 15 weeks pregnant with Baby Number Two (yay!) and I was feeling very anxious about possibly breastfeeding for FOUR years straight (two with Agatha and two with the new baby). I decided for my own sanity, I needed to work on weaning Agatha. I had also heard that some pregnant women who are nursing an older child start having nursing aversions during the middle of pregnancy, and I did not want to experience that. Nursing aversions can be anything from feeling itchy or uncomfortable while your child is nursing, to feeling actual anger at them while they are nursing. It is not a reflection of how you feel about your child or anything like that, just another weird thing the human body does.

At the time I got pregnant, Agatha was only nursing 3 times a day. In the morning when she woke up, when I got home from work in the afternoon and before bed. After doing some research, I decided I did not want to cut off all nursing sessions at once, but wanted to take it gradually. I chose to eliminate the afternoon nursing session first.

The first few days were tough. I wasn't even able to sit down, because she would come up and sit on my lap and immediately ask to nurse. And by "ask to nurse" I mean paw at my shirt and cry. I would tell her, "No, we aren't doing that now." I learned to have a snack ready for her as soon as we walked in the door and to have plenty of other distractions readily available (such as books to read together or toys to play with on the floor). After about a week, she showed no interest in nursing when we got home.

I wanted to give Agatha plenty of time before eliminating the next session and I wasn't sure which I wanted to tackle next. I thought the night one would be easiest, since sometimes she only nursed for a minute or two, but I really wanted to get rid of her long, leisurely morning session, which usually took place while she laid on top of me in my bed. I knew the morning one would be the hardest for her to give up, so I decided to stop offering the night session next.

Eliminating the night session was extremely easy, I don't think Agatha even noticed. She may have turned to me the first night and asked to nurse, but after that she never tried again. We just read extra books and went on with our bedtime routine.

The morning session has been the hardest to stop. She would not nurse for a few days and then nurse for three days straight, then skip a day. She seemed extremely crabby the days she didn't nurse and I just wanted the mornings to go smoothly. Agatha has also been an early riser, and Chris and I have kind of let her be our alarm clock. Chris would normally start his day while I laid in bed nursing Agatha for however long she decided to that day. I wanted to start a more regular morning routine (and hopefully get her to sleep longer) but I didn't want to make the rest of the day harder.

A few weeks ago my parents came to stay with us for the weekend and Chris and I slept on an air mattress in our living room. In the morning, Chris brought Agatha out to me and I nursed her for a few minutes and then laid her between us and gave her a pacifier. Agatha stopped using pacifiers (except for car trips) about 4 or 5 months ago, but I thought it might give her some comfort.

That was the last time I breastfed her. Our routine now is to bring her in our room and let her cuddle with me (usually laying on top of me (and usually with her hand down my shirt, to be honest)) while she sucks on a pacifier. After about five minutes of cuddling, I roll her over between us, where she usually sleeps for another hour or so. She doesn't get the pacifier at any other time of the day. I have tried to not give her the pacifier in the morning, and after about 60 seconds, she goes for the breast. So we are not at the stage where I can cut out the pacifier yet.

I do think in another few weeks, she will outgrow the need to cuddle in the morning and will sleep longer in her room, but for now, I am happy.

With that said, I am a little sad that our breastfeeding relationship is over and I do feel a bit guilty that it was my decision instead of letting her self-wean or waiting until she was two. I know plenty of people will say that I breastfed her for an incredibly long time, but I did think I would do it a little longer. However, I did need a break and needed to have my body back to myself for a while. Or at least, as much to myself as I can, since I am currently growing another human inside me.

So....Yay, me! Yay, Agatha! Yay, boobies!

Pain, worry, joy

The pants I am wearing today are making me feel very thin, even though I am at my heaviest weight (not counting the nine months I was pregnant with Agatha). I think it is because the pants I was wearing yesterday were much too TIGHT, to the point of being painful. There is some residual pain today from the pants cutting into me, actually. Probably a good time to start exercising, huh?

My family had quite a health scare last week. My older brother was experiencing very bad pain in his abdomen and went to the ER, thinking it was his appendix. After some x-rays and CT scans, they told him they found a large mass in his small intestine. The next day, he had surgery to remove a GRAPEFRUIT sized TUMOR and about 10 inches of his small intestine. Thankfully, we found out that the tumor was benign and he is now out of the hospital. It was a very scary situation, though and I am so thankful for everyone’s health.

In way behind news, Halloween was fun. Agatha dressed up as a fox, in a costume made by her extremely talented grandma Bonnie. Our brother-in-law, John came and took photos of her playing outside in her costume. It was adorable.

Let it be

I'm feeling very overwhelmed today and this song felt appropriate.